So, I Fell… What Do I Do Next?

ImageThe beginning of this week is also the last week of classes. I would be excited like most other years but this round has knocked me down, and kicked me a few times.

With a plethora of projects, presentations, showing, papers, and exams to do all within a week I found myself completely overwhelmed. Literally every large assignment that was due this semester in all of my classes are due this week. Why ASU!?

My GPA has rested safely above a 3.85 for the past five semesters and I was confident I could so it again… Until today. I had a five paged paper, as well as a PowerPoint presentation summarizing the paper, due today and guess when I started it. 12 hours before it was due. But, not due to procrastination, due to order of operations and the long list of tasks and assignments that have been piled on to my life recently. I am used to the excess amount of work to do, I often want more to do to keep form being idle. So, I got the assignments done and in on time. But, it was the worst work I probably have ever done! Period. If i get a 50% on the paper and presentation, I would be shocked. Failing this assignment will bring my grade down to a “C” in the class (because a C is 84% and below in this class for some odd reason).

And if that wasn’t enough, I check my grade in another class and completely FORGOT to do a large assignment that was due last Sunday. So, now I kissed my “A” in the class good-bye. It may sound like I am upset over a few points in the class and am a grade hog, but that’s only partly true. The biggest thing is that I am just really disappointed in myself, and that’s the worst feeling in the world. Knowing you could have done much better if you were just more focused, or in my case, more organized and had better time management skills.

So, theoretically I am face-down in the dirt and have all of the despair in the world, with the rest of the week of work to get through. I have to ask myself now, am I going to just lay here and let the rest of the work engulf me as well? Will I just throw away the rest of the week and accept C’s in the rest of my classes? Or will I use this moment as a reason to make a difference for my future?

I did not do so well today, and there were tons of opportunities in the days/weeks leading up to this day that I could have taken. But, I did not, and I cannot change that. So I owe it to myself to change the future. Tomorrow is a new day and a new battle, so I am taking it by the horns! I will wake up with a vengeance!

I always hear/read people say get back up and try again, but having to actually do it is a whole other story. I’ve decided to write this so I could always remember the day that I fell short of my own potential so that I never do it again. There are going to be many moments when I fall again, fail, and maybe hit a rock bottom, but I only want it to be because I put forth a great effort!


7 thoughts on “So, I Fell… What Do I Do Next?

  1. Great effort is important! And yes, getting back up and trying again is MUCH easier said than done. People who give that advice (including myself) really need to think about that!

    This is one of the great “fails” of education. Resting success between the legs of a 5 letter grading system pushes students to work for a letter, instead of simply working to better themselves. It seems ludacris, but the only reason it does is because our education system pushes us to think that.

    Crazy thoughts!

    Great writing!

    • You are right about the letter grade of self-approval mentality. I am very much a victim of it, and for many reasons as well. I strive for excellence in everything that I do, but I must redefine excellence for myself and Letter grades do not seem to be a part of it anymore. Thanks for reading and for your awesome words.

  2. What a cool person you are to want to keep striving and learning from missteps! Hard work. One fantastic gift of being a dancer, I find, is that we dancers practice over and over again the act of getting up after we fall to the floor. Sure, it’s a metaphor, but it can be pretty powerful. I’m sure you’ve fallen before and gotten up a thousand times to dive back in, or at least drag yourself back in the game. You sound like a really conscientious, hard worker. Maybe today you can go easy yourself. I know you’ll be fine…you’re after choreographic stardom, right? Just do it. Cheers.

  3. Great attitude! I love writing poems or short blog posts as reminders to myself to do better next time! I know you will seize tomorrow by the horns!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s