New York, New York!

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New York, New York!

So I have been away from my blog for a while due to many many many issues life has thrown me in the past month. I was thrown mono, parking tickets, IRS crap, and the lack of a job. But, one great shining beacon of hope and light was my decision to move to New York next summer after I graduate with my BFA in Dance from ASU.

When I hear myself talk to other people about this, it sounds very anti-climatic because of how far away it is and kind of typical in the dance world, but on the inside I am shaking with joy and anticipation with the decision because:

1. I have never lived far from home and my immediate family
2. I have never been NY and it seems like a grand new frontier for me to explore
3. (and most importantly) the decision is symbolic for taking my dream for dancing professionally in a big city and makes it a reality. And in my mind, the phrase “I’m going to move to New York and dance!” went from sounding like a dream filled, airy notion of an idea inspired by shows like Glee, and is now a weighted reality like having a baby. Maybe, not as serious but REAL!

The trick to this reality was making a brief 21 step plan to follow for the next year. I turned it into a picture that I will print out, blow up, and hang in my room to cross out things I have finished, it’s the background on my phone, and my daily reminder of what my ultimate goal is.

Now that goal of New York is what has been pushing me through my days of despair as I fight with the crap life has been throwing me lately. it’s been rough and discouraging at times (to say the least) but, I know I will prevail =)

NEW YORK HERE I COME!

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So, I Fell… What Do I Do Next?

ImageThe beginning of this week is also the last week of classes. I would be excited like most other years but this round has knocked me down, and kicked me a few times.

With a plethora of projects, presentations, showing, papers, and exams to do all within a week I found myself completely overwhelmed. Literally every large assignment that was due this semester in all of my classes are due this week. Why ASU!?

My GPA has rested safely above a 3.85 for the past five semesters and I was confident I could so it again… Until today. I had a five paged paper, as well as a PowerPoint presentation summarizing the paper, due today and guess when I started it. 12 hours before it was due. But, not due to procrastination, due to order of operations and the long list of tasks and assignments that have been piled on to my life recently. I am used to the excess amount of work to do, I often want more to do to keep form being idle. So, I got the assignments done and in on time. But, it was the worst work I probably have ever done! Period. If i get a 50% on the paper and presentation, I would be shocked. Failing this assignment will bring my grade down to a “C” in the class (because a C is 84% and below in this class for some odd reason).

And if that wasn’t enough, I check my grade in another class and completely FORGOT to do a large assignment that was due last Sunday. So, now I kissed my “A” in the class good-bye. It may sound like I am upset over a few points in the class and am a grade hog, but that’s only partly true. The biggest thing is that I am just really disappointed in myself, and that’s the worst feeling in the world. Knowing you could have done much better if you were just more focused, or in my case, more organized and had better time management skills.

So, theoretically I am face-down in the dirt and have all of the despair in the world, with the rest of the week of work to get through. I have to ask myself now, am I going to just lay here and let the rest of the work engulf me as well? Will I just throw away the rest of the week and accept C’s in the rest of my classes? Or will I use this moment as a reason to make a difference for my future?

I did not do so well today, and there were tons of opportunities in the days/weeks leading up to this day that I could have taken. But, I did not, and I cannot change that. So I owe it to myself to change the future. Tomorrow is a new day and a new battle, so I am taking it by the horns! I will wake up with a vengeance!

I always hear/read people say get back up and try again, but having to actually do it is a whole other story. I’ve decided to write this so I could always remember the day that I fell short of my own potential so that I never do it again. There are going to be many moments when I fall again, fail, and maybe hit a rock bottom, but I only want it to be because I put forth a great effort!

Introduction, Fails, and Bloopers

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This video is really rough, but hey, it’s my first try at this and it’ll get better! I’ll learn the secret Jedi arts of video editing, (might just get a MAC honestly… much easier on there).

Subscribe on YouTube as well as I will be uploading a video every week about what I am doing on this journey, as well as what I am seeing. I think this will be really fun (and Funny) lol